I Wouldn’t Kick You Out Of Bed For Wearing Gold Medals

If you know me, you’ll know I’m not exactly into sports.  I used to pretend that I liked football when I liked a boy who liked football, but really all I was doing was drinking beer and cheering when they cheered.

“Wait, what just happened?  Did they make a goal?”

However, there is one aspect of sports that I understand perfectly, those guys are hot. As far as the Olympics go, I’m pretty much only interested in gymnastics and watching the swimmers in their tiny suits.

So, in honor of the 2012 XXX (heck yes it’s XXX) London Olympic Games, I bring you my top picks for the sexiest Olympic Athletes of all time.  You’re welcome.

1. Australian Swim Team

(Yes, this counts as one person.  I think of it in the same terms as the age old expression “If the nachos are stuck together, it counts as one nacho.”)

2. Benjamin Raich – Alpine Skier, Austria

Technically, Benji is a gold medal wielding Apline Ski Racer from Austria.  In my mind, Benji has the perfect sense of humor, bakes chocolate cakes with no calories every night and flashes those pearly whites after each of my stupid jokes.

3. Ashton Eaton – Decathlon, USA

There is a theme happening in the world.  And that theme is that men named Ashton are sexy.  I’ll be naming my son Ashton to set him up for a full life.

4. Danel Levya – Men’s Gymastics, USA

Gymnastics doesn’t exactly bring sizzle to the mind, until Danel comes on screen…

5. Gabe Bergen – Rowing, Canada

I’m not sure many other men could make this pose look so good.

6. Tyson Chandler – Men’s Basketball, USA

Little known fact:  Tattoo’s are really good looking sometimes

7. Steven Lopez – Taekwondo, USA

Steven Lopez is Taekwondoing all the right things.

8. Martin Reader – Beach Volleyball, Canada

I know that he is in a suit in this picture, but come on, who cares?  This man cleans up NICE.

9. Justin and Troy Dumais – Diving, USA

Yet another Nacho Theory decision.  These guys are brothers and are the most unfair thing in the history of genetics.

10. David Oliver – Hurdles, USA

Um, David?  Can you go over there and bend down to pick up that hurdle that I just “accidentally” knocked over?  Yeah, Thanks….

11. David Beckham – Football, Great Britain

I know we’ve seen David Beckham on, like, every list of hot guys ever in the world ever, but that’s for good reason.  Because David Beckham is freaking good looking.

12. Hugo Parisi – Diving, Brazil

I really don’t have to explain this choice do I?

13. Michael Phelps – Swimming, USA

Another classic choice.  Olympic athlete groupies the world over have been swooning for Michael since he first came on the scene and CLEANED UP at the last games.  But I feel it would be doing us all an injustice not to include the man I dream about when I have cabana boy dreams.

14.  Jacob Dalton – Men’s Gymnastics, USA

The way you put that powder on your hands is just mesmerizing.

15.  Justin Lester – Wrestling, USA

Aside from the obvious reason I chose him (his outfit is really tight), this guy just exudes strength and manliness.

16. Adam van Koeverden - Sprint Kayaker, Canada

I never knew that canoeing was an Olympic event, but I’m really glad it is.

17. Ryan Lochte – Swimming, USA

Also was unaware that Water Polo was an Olympic event, another grand surprise.   Ryan, you’ve got this list on Lochte.

18. Alexandre Dispatie – Diving, Canada

I’ve just realized that a lot of the men on my list are either American or Candian.  I think I need to think about this by looking at more pictures.  Possibly a hottest INTERNATIONAL Olympians post to come?

There really isn’t much more to say aside from a collective “sigh”.

Answer this question in the comments below for a chance to win a phone call from me impersonating one of these sexy men.

Whats the most embarrassing thing you ever did to impress someone you liked?

Most creative answer wins!

Keep Things Sweet,

Jenni Jane